September’s a banger isn’t it?

Fresh air but the sun’s still out.. Back to school season even if you don’t have kids. Boots, leaves, the smell of a damp forest, fresh coffee, jewel tones, GOD IT’S HEADY.

So sniff the spine of a newly cracked notebook, throw on a blanket or a quilted shacket.

And let’s get into it..

🧠 Copy Chops → Question Everything

🧲 Magnetic Marketing → Authenticity Isn’t Maskless

📣 Client Chronicles → The Golden Bridge

🌀 Weird Marketing → A Throwback To Make You Titter

As much as I love writing, I also love asking people stuff. And after ghostwriting for a bit, I learned that when it comes to sounding like you know shit, good questions are everything.

So if I ask a client “what do you do?” I’ll get jargon.
If I ask “what made you start?” I’ll get a story.
And if I ask “what’s your favourite part?” I’ll get the emotion that makes it ‘pop’.

That’s why this line from Charles Duhigg hit me like a sausage in the face:

“The most persuasive people don’t argue their point — they ask great questions.”

So naturally I watched the video and bought his book (supercommunicators).

And here’s what I took from the interview..

Shallow → Deep: “Where do you live?” → “What do you like about living there?” 

A deep question doesn’t always feel heavy, it’s an invitation to ask someone their POV about something. So start small (“What do you like about X?”) and let them open the door. Which makes the point to…

Ramp, don’t leap: People don’t resist deep questions — they resist going too deep, too fast (that’s what she said).  

Invitations: When someone brings something up, we’re going to assume that they want to talk about it. So if they mention their kid’s graduation, or their rabbit, that’s not a slip — it might be an invite. So ask about it.

Three conversation modes: Practical (plans), Emotional (feelings), Social (status). 

Ever had that moment when someone asks ‘are you even listening to me?’ and you recount exactly what they’ve said, but they’re still unsatisfied? You’ve recounted the details, but not really caught the sentiment. So try and match the mode or you’ll miss the moment.

Loop it: Ask → Reflect → Check. 

I do this on briefing calls. Mainly because I’m a slow learner and I have to process my thoughts. But apparently the key is to check that you got it right at the end, and if you’ve missed any nuance.

We’re told to “be authentic” online. But here’s the thing: authenticity is bullshit.

Why?

We all wear masks. Erving Goffman (The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life) argued that all social life is performance. We play roles depending on context — partner, parent, professional, at the pub. Masks aren’t fake; they’re how we function.

And online, the mask is thicker. What we leave out is as intentional as what we put in. Even the “mess” is curated — camera angles, word choice, deciding to share at all.

We crave authenticity, but the second it looks performed it’s gross, TMI or tacky.

So how authentic can we really be? Not very. And I think that’s okay. 

Because the more I learn, the more I realise authenticity isn’t about baring your whole soul. It’s about congruence: your words, actions, and values lining up.

So you don’t need to bleed onto the page, you just need to wear the mask that fits your values.

And for those of us writing, running launches, showing up for our clients maybe the goal is to choose your mask, wear it with intent, and make sure it lines up with what you actually believe.

I know there’s more nuance to this. Tell me what you think, I’ve been grappling with it this week.

📎 Nerd Note: Why Authenticity Feels So Exhausting

Erving Goffman (1959) argued that all social life is performance — we all wear masks, and that’s how society functions.

Oliver Haimson (2021) described the online authenticity paradox: people crave realness, but when you try to “be authentic” online, the effort of aligning your online and offline selves can lead to filter fatigue, emotional labor, and even masking as self-protection.

I just heard a nice quote that I’m going to shoehorn into a marketing metaphor.

“Never crush your enemy — give them a golden bridge to retreat across.” - Sun Zhu (oh, you weren’t expecting a little Chinese philosophy?)

And naturally, it’s now making me question everything. Like parenting, conflict and even my flipping emails.

Stay with me..

This week I tried something in an email and it got 5x’d the click through rate. 

I was promoting a ‘book a call’ page (so the readers could book a call and hopefully sign up for coaching). But instead of the classic CTA of “Book a call now.” at the bottom, I gave two bridges (take that Sun Zhu).

Which meant that both types of people (those ready to buy and those who weren’t) had options

So I’ll be trying this for a bit.

Giving people an out, which if they do take it, they feel good about.

I’ll let you know how it goes..

I couldn’t find much this week, so I’ll share this with you from last year. Click on his silly face and watch it, it’s piss funny.

Oh ps! This week I flounced around my kitchen to Cranberries - Linger. I need a new playlist, shall we collaborate? Send me a tune in your head and I’ll share the playlist next week.

Annabelle